


It is Slow, How Rain Erodes Away at Him

by LowTide1322



Series: He Never Realized He’d Been Falling [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Anakin Skywalker Is A Mess, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin is an Idiot, Because ROTS made no sense, Gen, Hurt Anakin Skywalker, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt/Comfort, More tags to be added, Poor Anakin, Poor Obi-Wan, anakin whump, different ending, like a big hug, where was logic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LowTide1322/pseuds/LowTide1322
Summary: ~and the wind blows~First installment of many...If Anakin was truly listening, he would know he was being lied to. And maybe, he could have saved himself from a life of slavery as a Sith...
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: He Never Realized He’d Been Falling [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888831
Comments: 8
Kudos: 60





	It is Slow, How Rain Erodes Away at Him

**Author's Note:**

> Me and my friend watched Revenge of the Sith the other day and I was so annoyed because Anakin could have been saved if people were with him when Palps was being a creep and if he had common sense omgggg
> 
> Title from a poem I found called “Chemical Weathering”.

“I will do whatever you ask… Just help me save Padmé’s life. I can’t live without her!”

Palpatine grinned down at him, his yellow teeth disgustingly contrast to his black robe yet matching with his sickly yellow eyes. The boy’s despair radiated off of him in waves, and it was perfectly conducive to the Sith Lord’s plan. Visions of possible futures were planted in Vader’s brain the moment he returned to Coruscant, and his wife’s demise would be the perfect catalyst for his descent into madness and the Dark Side.

Palpatine would have been successful, had he not made one small mistake.

“—and perhaps, together, we may find the way to keep her from death,” the Sith was saying. He continued on with explaining his plan, but this one phrase stuck with Anakin. Did-did he not know how to save his wife? He suggested earlier that he alone knew the secret! Now he had changed his mind? What was the truth?

“Go to the Temple; the Jedi must be caught unawares, else they will kill us, the Senate, and your wife.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Show no mercy. Only after you’ve done so will you be strong enough to save her.”

Anakin paused, and Palpatine raised a wrinkly eyebrow. “I thought you said you could save her, Master. Why must  _ I _ do this?”

“You musn’t question me, Lord Vader. The Jedi are conspiring against you as we speak! The Dark Side requires strength, and I have none after our battle—”

“You said your power was unlimited,” Anakin cut him off. He grew more agitated, and once he let some of the Dark in, his mind had become hyper focused on one thought: to save Padmé. Lies and deceit would not slow him down further.

“You  _ will _ obey me, my young apprentice—”

“‘Obey’? Can you save Padmé or not? Tell me how, and then I will know you have my best interests in mind. I will not ‘obey’ you, not like the Jedi.”

Palpatine sneered. “You forget your place, Anakin.” 

“No, I just saved your life! You  _ owe _ me!” Anakin rose abruptly from his seated position, standing over the Sith Lord threateningly. His defiance was short lived, however.

Palpatine raised his hands and shot lightning at Skywalker. If he knew what was good for him, he would do as he asked! In time, all his apprentices would learn this through a show of force… he’d hoped Vader would be the exception.

Anakin flew across the room from the blast, the shocking pain dazing him into submission. Did-did Palpatine just attack him?  _ Him? _

“I owe you nothing. You are nothing, until you embrace the Dark Side. Only then will you be worth my time, and I could care less if Anakin Skywalker dies. I will only help Darth Vader.” He electrocuted the boy again, and relished in his agonized screams. He was so close to Falling, so close, but perhaps his love for his wife kept him equally from the Dark as it did the Light.

“So, I’m nothing but your  _ slave, _ is that it?” Anakin groaned, forcing himself to stand while the onslaught had stalled.

The life with the Jedi was like a prison, but life with the Sith was looking to be more and more like slavery. In neither situation was he free to help Padmé, and life without her would be worse than death. 

Why must the Force torment him like this!?

Force, what had he done? What was he prepared to do at the Temple? To his friends? To the  _ younglings? _

If so many lives were needed to save Padmé’s, he should just let himself be killed now. He did not believe more than one life was needed to save another, but he would not risk his wife’s life on the off chance he was wrong. Either way, he was a damned man.

“Anakin, my boy, you miss the point! The Dark Side requires sacrifice—you must dedicate your  _ soul _ to it… leave all other attachments aside. Only then can you be at your most powerful!”

Attachments? That’s what this was all about again? For Force’s sake, he’d had  _ enough _ of being told what he could and could not feel. He was human, and a part of the Living Force! His emotions were a part of him, and they could not be controlled by the Jedi nor the Sith. 

No, Palpatine kept contradicting himself,  _ lying _ to Anakin to the point where anything he said became unbelievable.

“I could kill all the Jedi in the Order, and I still would not be able to save Padmé. Their souls would not be mine to transfer; their Force energy could not save her. I fail to see how storming the Temple could be beneficial in any way other than to be rid of  _ your _ enemies.”

Palpatine scowled. He could tell the Living Force had awoken inside the boy—letting him see things clearer (and something Palpatine said must have triggered it, but he could scold himself later for it)—and unfortunately it had to be  _ before _ the Sith Lord could make any use of him. No matter. He could destroy the Jedi and create the Empire even without Darth Vader. This version of Anakin Skywalker, while not totally Light or Dark, would prove to be too much of a hiccup in his plans now.

“You were always a slave, Skywalker. Whatever delusions of freedom you’ve given yourself are misplaced. You  _ will _ join me, or you will die!” He shot lightning off at the boy again, aiming to kill.

He very nearly did kill him, but in one last effort of defense Anakin used the Force to push the Sith back and out of the window Windu had fallen through. The lightning had stopped, but Anakin only had enough strength left to send out a distress call on his comm (he had no idea who it would go to, and there was no one he trusted enough to really help him) before he collapsed to the ground, motionless.

He should have died. It would have been simpler. But he did not die—not yet, anyway.

… … …

This day had not gone how Obi-Wan expected…  _ at all. _

First, his clones turn on him, then he feels an immense amount of  _ death _ in the Force, and next he received a distress code from Anakin’s comm. Everything was just going downhill from there.

The Force suddenly  _ screeched _ and gave him a splitting headache instantly. What was worse was that with the headache came a lack of Anakin’s Force presence, and its absence felt like a punch in the gut. 

“No,” he whispered to himself as he made his way to the Temple. His panic grew as he saw bodies strewn about of Masters, Knights, Padawans and younglings alike. How could the clones betray them like this?

Blaster marks covered the walls like graffiti, and the lack of lightsaber trails was frightening. After what felt like hours searching, he still could not find any sign of Anakin. The next place he would have to look would be at the Senate building, because his Padawan had been tasked with keeping an eye on the Chancellor. Logically, it would be the only other place he’d be.

Obi-Wan had to sneak in through very unconventional means, but the clones were everywhere! Especially on the first level of the building. They all seemed to be exiting the building, though, so when he finally made it up to the Chancellor’s level he was fairly certain he was alone.

He followed lightsaber marks on the walls up to the small office, desperately hoping that he wouldn’t find Anakin’s body on the way. If something had happened, he would have gone to protect the Chancellor, and they would have escaped.

Yes, they escaped. Anakin had to have escaped. He would not believe in the alternative.

Master Yoda had contacted him and said he would be going into exile, and suggested Obi-Wan do the same. But he  _ couldn’t _ . He always lectured Anakin for being too attached, for acting on his emotions, but he never really believed himself when he would reprimand the younger man. Obi-Wan loved his Padawan, and he was  _ sure _ that was against the Code. But those blasted rules had been doing more harm than good lately—Force, it seemed the  _ Jedi _ had been contradicting themselves ever since he could remember beginning his training. Qui-Gon had been right all along… The Light Side of the Force had become muddled in a way that had been ignored by the Council, even Master Yoda himself had failed to foresee this doom.

Yes, the ancient Master probably should have been in exile.

He found himself at the door to the Chancellor’s office. Spider-like scars crawled along the walls into the door itself.  _ Lightning. _ The Sith Lord had been in the office?!

Anxiety crawled up his throat and his heart pounded deafeningly in his ears. Anakin was the Chosen One, he could hold his own against a Sith Lord. He had to have more faith in his former apprentice than that.

(But Obi-Wan couldn’t  _ feel _ him in the Force; and the hollowness in his chest led him to believe that he wasn’t so lucky this time.)

The door opened and Obi-Wan basically collapsed then and there.

Anakin lay on the floor, unmoving.  _ Unmoving. _

“No, no!” he mumbled as he tripped over to where his Padawan lay. “Anakin! Anakin, wake up!”

The younger man didn’t stir, and Obi-Wan pressed two fingers to his neck in a desperate attempt to disprove his worst fears. He was hyperventilating. Damn, he needed to breathe… he would be no help to Anakin if he freaked out like this. 

He felt a small  _ thump _ beneath his fingers, and snapped his head up only to nearly smash his skull against his Padawan’s.

“Anakin!”  _ Thank the Force. _ “Are you alright? What happened?”

There was an unsettling look in the younger man’s eye, and for a moment Obi-Wan could hardly recognize him. Anakin was alive, he could tell that much, but he still held no Force presence. Or at least, not a Jedi’s presence—

No. His Padawan had not fallen. He was stronger than that, he was a  _ Jedi, _ he had to be. Anything else wasn’t possible…

But then again, none of them were really Jedi anymore, were they? And there were no more Jedi because of their own failure to see past their pride and narrow view of the Force. He believed only Sith dealt in absolutes, but the Order had been doing so without even realizing it.

“Get away from me!”

His former Padawan’s shout of anger and shove made Obi-Wan shrink backwards, hurt. Did he not trust him? He was so happy to see Anakin alive, but the younger man did not seem to share the same sentiment.

What in the blazes had just happened here?

… … … 

When Anakin woke, he’d forgotten where he was and why for a moment. The imbalance in the Force still made his head pound, but he ignored it as he scrambled to his feet.

He nearly headbutted the figure in front of him.

“Anakin! Are you alright? What happened?”

Obi-Wan Kenobi looked upon him, concern etched on his face. As if he actually  _ cared _ about Anakin! He most likely had been conspiring with the rest of the Jedi to hold him back from bringing balance to the Force! Trying to keep him from Padmé!

“Get away from me!” He shoved the older man. The hurt that flashed across his former-Master’s face left a pang in Anakin’s chest. Why? Why should he care about someone who only  _ pretended _ to care about him?

“Anakin...the temple was destroyed, hardly any Jedi are left. The clones have betrayed us, and I was afraid I’d lost you! Why-why are you acting like this?”

He ignored the question. He could feel Sidious’ Force-presence across the galaxy, growing in strength, and he needed to be stopped. “I’m going to Mustafar. I need to fix the balance.” He pushed past Kenobi, knowing he’d follow him anyways.

“What? You’re not making any sense—” Obi-Wan rambled, keeping in step with Anakin.

He whirled around to face the older man. “I have to bring balance to the Force. If I don’t, Padmé will die! I-I can’t live without her Obi-Wan, and I thought Palpatine could save her, but he’s lying… I can feel it. There can’t be a Dark or a Light side!  _ There is only the Force, _ and I have to save it and her. You can accompany me, if you choose, but I’m no Jedi—not today. If that proves too appalling a concept for you, you can join the Order and your  _ precious  _ Code in death.”

Obi-Wan looked  _ betrayed, _ and Anakin seethed. Of  _ course _ he would condemn every damn thought or idea that wasn’t perfectly in line with the Code. Their entire relationship had been a lie! He never really cared about Anakin, he was just a means to an end, he was used, manipulated—

“I would never leave you, my Padawan,” Obi-Wan said in disbelief. “You think I care more about the damn  _ Code _ than you?”

Anakin blinked.

Oh…

The Jedi continued, “I’ve only ever wanted what was best for you, and it never mattered if it was in the Order or not but… younglings have been  _ slaughtered. _ Padawans, murdered. The Code was only meant to protect us but now it’s—” he stopped himself, and Anakin could feel him slamming shields up over his emotions in the Force before slowly letting them back down again. “We will stop Palpatine and help Padmé with whatever trouble you think she’s in. I swear it. You-you’re all I have left now, Anakin. You’re my brother...I love you.”

Obi-Wan… loved him? Love was forbidden for Jedi, especially one as traditional as Kenobi. This was getting to be too confusing. The Force was muddled, pulling him in each and every direction; he wanted to take his ‘saber and end Kenobi’s life then and there, but he also wanted to collapse in the man’s arms and let himself cry for all eternity.

“I’m sorry,” Anakin blurted. Why he was apologizing, he wasn’t sure. His emotions were all over the place after nearly falling to the Dark Side and leaving the Order to its fate, almost  _ killing Obi-Wan. _ He was conflicted, confused… he felt  _ wrong. _ But his brother didn’t care, and he was eternally grateful for that. “I need to do this.”

Obi-Wan shrugged. “I know.”

He let a small smile grace his lips as they turned to leave the Senate building, but Anakin felt Obi-Wan’s hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

“But you won’t be going alone,” he said with a smirk, and Anakin wanted to return the gesture, but another horrifying thought dawned on him. His veins felt like they were filled with ice as he looked at the older man with wide, frightened eyes.

“I would have killed them, Obi-Wan.”

“What?”

“I was ready to sacrifice the whole Order to save my wife. And… I think I still would. It-it’s so wrong! I am foolish, a child so easily manipulated by… by  _ everyone _ and I hate it! I’m going to lose everything, and it’s all my fault! All of this blood is on  _ my _ hands. Every. Single. Drop!” His breaths became shorter and shorter and his vision blurred. What-what was happening to him? Why couldn’t he breathe—

“Anakin! Anakin, calm down, you—I’m here, we’ll stop him, it’s not your fault—”

“It is! It is, it is, it is, I’m-I’m a monster… I can’t live without her…”

Anakin’s knees buckled but Obi-Wan held him upright as he led him to a hidden speeder. He collapsed into the seat, suddenly exhausted.

“Just-just rest, Ani. Rest. We will figure this out, I promise you.”

Normally, he would try to resist Obi-Wan’s sleep suggestions in the Force, but this time he welcomed it with open arms as he promptly passed out while they drove away, the Jedi Temple still burning a brilliant orange in the distance.

Obi-Wan knew Anakin had been tempted by the Dark Side—he most likely fell to the Dark Side, even—but for some reason, he had not given into it. It was unheard of, falling and then coming back, but his Padawan was not fully back yet. He would have to sort this out with Master Yoda (loathe as he was to try and make such a long distance call).

But they had to defeat Palpatine first. They would. And then they could fix this; Obi-Wan had no other option.

The galaxy had no other option. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I may add another chapter to this but there will be more stories to come! Thanks so much for reading! Leave a kudos and comment if you liked!


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